i miss what we were. i miss what we had. i miss that feeling i had every day when i woke up, and when i went to bed. i miss bragging about you to everyone about everything. i miss feeling comfortable. i miss having my future planned out. i miss learning new things by you. i miss doing nothing together and enjoying every second. i miss being informed and our communication. i miss that you kept me in line. i miss my ring. i miss those freckles. i miss those butterflies i got every single time i saw your face or heard your name. i miss having the same passions and desires. i miss hgtv nights. i miss stealing your socks. i miss your grandma. i miss egg roll #1. i miss love, period. i don’t believe we’re compatible with our futures, but i miss what we had. i cannot wait to get that feeling again some day with someone new (which is unfortunate to admit). i honestly cannot wait until you are that happy again, as well.
i lost a friend today. i am a firm believer that we can solve our problems in a non-violent manner. unfortunately, he lost his life fighting in the war in afghanistan…currently against nothing. he was such a loving human being, and of all people, did not deserve that. rumor has it, it was an ambush. i do not understand what is going on over there and what it has to do with our country to date, but i feel as if this isn’t the way things should have played out. not at this time. rest in peace, josh. you have forever burned happy memories into my brain, and i’ll never let them go. until i see you again, im on a boat ;]
i love the club scene more than anything. i cannot imagine my life where it’s at now by the age of thirty, but i sure as hail will enjoy it while i can. i have learned quite a bit about the music scene and business, and it is mind blowing. i am learning tricks of the trade without going to school for it. this summer into fall will be a great opportunity. wish i could tell everyone more about it, but they will just have to wait and follow my updates on facebook :)
speaking of school, i am looking at music schools again. so help me god. i don’t understand why i complain and complain about getting out of indianapolis to pursue my dreams, but then when i had the opportunity, i didn’t take it. for some reason, i am absolutely scared to death. between finances and moving by myself, as well as the lack of my parents’ support, i just don’t think i can go anytime soon. how unfortunate. the plan as of now will be to finish another year of school doing business here, then make the next step by fall of 2012. any input would be greatly appreciated.
i miss being my artsy, creative self. so, i took it upon my poor self today to get back into the art game. i decided that i am going to make my own headboard and some furniture for my bedroom. i am stoked. seems pretty easy. i believe the hardest part will be picking out which fabric i actually want and to cut the wood in the perfect shape. i am thinking i want black furniture and black designs in my room. i love this certain pattern -i forgot the name- but it seems so elegant and right for my age. i am actually leaning towards chandeliers and classy accents, which usually isn’t “like me”, but the times are achangin’ i suppose.
cliff diving on sunday. i couldn’t be more excited. it’s like a mini-vacation with all of my friends. i hope we have great weather and enjoy ourselves. we all need it. everyone is welcome.
i don’t feel like typing any more. nor thinking. i feel so exhausted and emotionally worn out. double tomorrow, then a day off until my next double. i need money. i miss shopping :( side note: since when have i turned into such a little fashion diva? starting around a year ago, i started my miscellaneous shopping and haven’t stopped since. i have such a secret passion. that’d be nice if it turned into something on the side.
have a good night my little lovebirds. until next time <3